Rose Blumen ~ Exogignesthai

594. After the end, 1

(Rus)This was never meant to happen.

This hollow.

I thought I died, oddly for good this time.

God has become silent.

And I woke up.

I a hut. On a bed. Next to a stove, and a nearby lake I can smell.

My body can barely move, exhausted. But I can feel the holy flame still burning close to my heart.

It’s not over.

Not yet.

~

An elderly covered with various furs entered. The person helped me to eat and drink.

My mouth and tongue felt weird as if it was something I’ve never felt before.

And in this penumbra, for the first time ever, my eyes stopped burning me.

In this shade next to a human, I could start seeing things with more details and colours than just blinding white and ominous obscurity from my enemies.

The enemies of God... They won.

I grit my teeth, and I stand up.

My legs betray me for a moment. New pains run along my body.

I realise I have stitches here and there. I still push back that person and head outside.

The sunlight burns my eyes again. It hurts. God, it hurts.

I can’t feel its presence at all.

God is gone...

I fall to my knees and cry.

~

That person saved me after I plummeted from the sky and crashed with burning wings into the nearby lake.

Some feathers started growing anarchically again along the stumps on my lower back. I don’t think they will grow back from flesh, but they might return from God’s grace someday.

The elder one didn’t know what to think of it, but saved me anyway.

I’ve been asleep since.

My body grew weaker as I slept, but survived. For God willed it, I mended in this dreamless state.

God willed it...

The shades of the demons haunt me.

I failed... They killed God!

And I’m alive, but powerless...

But I’m alive...

I grit my teeth, I clench my fists, overflowing.

I stand up again.

Blood rushes downward in my legs and I pass out again.

God... Why?

~

I must endure some humility in the following times.

I can’t go out and away just yet.

I’ve lost before. I have to do better.

Since thankfully the world hasn’t ended, maybe I have more time. Maybe I can prepare.

The rule of darkness over the world is seemingly insignificant so far and out here.

So I will prepare.

To make things right, for good.

I will prepare.

~

The first thing I grabbed once my hands and feet were steady enough, was a sword the old one had lying around.

The elder one understood I wasn’t brought down to Earth so violently to bring peace. Not directly.

I felt hunger for the first time as well.

I never ate anything before I think.

Every meal was a struggle for my shrunk system. All I can digest without awful pains is milk from these goats around and thin soups.

My digestive system appears weaker than for a new born.

I still push myself too hard, training my muscles around and helping with my host’s life around.

The elder is a person of few words. Me too.

Words matter little to me and God.

All that matter is our goal. And the best means to achieve them today, I believe is to stay hidden here, until I fully recover.

Even though it bleeds me to wait here powerless to recover, while demons reign instead of God, spoiling its creation.

Your ignominy will end by my hands.

And God will return.

~

As time passed, my strength returned. My appetite also grew.

I sharpened the sword, and all of myself.

With the elder’s help, we captured wild horses in the nearby valleys.

I learnt to ride.

It’s another communication without words. And another of God’s creatures that means no evil.

I trained until there was no clear room for improvement left, and the horses followed my wills immediately.

Shortly after I was ready to leave.

I buried the elder one before I left.

Rest in peace old one, and first of the pious by God’s side.

The elder one’s last question to me was about my name.

My name is...

It doesn’t matter what my name could be. It doesn’t matter to me.

Only God’s will matters.

And it will be.

I ride away on a horse, two others on leash behind me. As I will ride away, I will let two rest from my weight while I ride the third.

And thus I left through the western steppes.

There are places along my way where I’ll need to stop, to recover God’s remaining fragments which I can perceive, now lying lost or even stolen.

I will recover the relics along my way. Enough to restore God’s will if only a little.

And at the end of my pilgrimage, I will reach the seat of God.

I will free the throne usurped by evil.

It’s far away, very far away.

But we will prevail in the end. We can only prevail.

While the demons rest, I will approach.

And by God’s might along my arms, we will prevail against the ending of times.

It’s not over. Not yet!

~